Bollywood Award Shows- Getting Funnier Every Year

I was told that I need to move beyond sports and politics, so here is my feeble attempt. I take on Bollywood in this one, India's other obsession. It is award show season people, both here and abroad. From now till March almost every week there will be some award show somewhere in the world. I love watching award shows. They are entertaining, fun and some of them even mean something. The Bollywood award shows are similar. They are entertaining, fun but mean absolutely nothing. Here is why.

It starts with what we award our artists for. It is confusing as hell. In the recently completed annual Star Screen Awards there was an award called Best Actor (Male) which Mr. Amitabh Bachchan won for Paa . Sound familiar right? Most award shows have such a category. But then there was an award, Best Actor in Popular Category which Shahid Kapoor won for Kaminey. In popular category? What in Gods name does that even mean? Sorry Mr. Bachchan you won Best Actor but not popular best actor?

Similarly there was one for Actor (female). Vidya Balan won best actor (female) for Paa. Kareena Kapoor won best actor (female) in Popular Category for 3 idiots and Kurbaan. You guys get that? Kareena won for 3 idiots AND Kurbaan. How she was a lead in 3 idiots I am not sure but her performance in the two flicks was apparently a tie. But a tie, only in the "popular" category not the other best actor (female) category. It is important we get it right.

I have watched the Oscars since I can remember but I didn't know that there is a Popular Best Actor and just a Best Actor. But I guess we have cracked that code in India. I expect the Academy and the Hollywood Foreign Press to introduce the "popular" category by 2011 in their respective award shows.

Wait, it gets better...

'Entertainer of the Year' was awarded to Katrina Kaif. While I believe Katrina should receive any award out there simply because she looks the way she does, what the hell does entertainer of the year mean anyway? She entertained us more than others? How was this decided? Was there a judging criteria with points and she got the most points?

Star Plus Jodi Award- Amitabh Bachchan and Abhishek Bachchan. Are we handing out awards for Jodi's now? Best couple? Best on screen chemistry? How is this an award?

Finally, my favorite, Best Jodi of the Decade Award- SRK and Kajol. My stomach is hurting as I laugh in pain at this last one. This has to be some made up award by the organizers just to hand one out. It is a joke.

The last two categories I mentioned are a taste of the MTV Movie Awards in the US. Which is fine if that is the way you want to go. But the MTV Awards have a different flavor to them than the award shows in India. They are flaky, fun, purely for entertainment and never considered the crowning achievement of any actor's career. The way our artists behave when they win one of these makes it appear that they have waited their whole lives for the honor.

I remember one year Filmfare gave Govinda a special award. They just created it....Winner Special Award- Govinda....I mean come on!! What is that? I understand comedians do not win a lot of the acting awards, but you have a best comedian award so what is this special award nonsense?

I am all for a little bit of local flavor and character in our awards. We should have our own categories and things that make it about Bollywood. Things like Best Comedian and Best Villain are fine. But jodi # 1, best entertainer, popular award and jodi of the decade are taking things to a very low level.

The second area that irks me about our awards shows is the basic truth about them. They are a joke and mean nothing. Here is why.

First, these awards get recycled between a group of 5-7 actors every year. Which is why when someone like Govinda doesn't seem to be winning, they give him a Special Award. Second, it seems that a lot of the decisions on who wins depends on if the celebrity is attending the event or not. If they are in attendance and perform, then chances are that they will win.

If the Bollywood fraternity wants to give some credibility to the awards shows and make them real and meaningful, then they need to serious things up. Not to take anything away from Shahrukh Khan, who is immensely talented, but since he debuted in 1993 he has won 11 Filmfare Awards, 10 for acting and one for Best Newcomer.

In addition, since SRK's debut 1993, only 7 different actors have won the best actor (male) award. Thats it, ONLY 7 different actors since 1993. That too Anil Kapoor, Nana Patekar and Sanjay Dutt are only one time winners during that period. The rest have been split between SRK, Aamir Khan, Hrithik Roshan and Amitabh Bachchan.

In that same period at the Oscars? Only one repeat winner. Tom Hanks in 1993 and 1994.

This indicates one of three things- either a) SRK and gang are that much better than everyone else or b) We are unable to churn up talent in our industry and are stuck with the same people or c) The awards are based on no criteria whatsoever.

If you think it is a then hats off to SRK and gang. If b, then we need to stop patting our back on being the 'largest' film industry in the world and if c then it is a sad state of affairs.

Either way, with Bollywood trying to take a more global approach, I think we need to take our awards and recognitions a little more seriously. Instead of just handing these statues out like candy we need these awards to mean something. Otherwise they remain like most Bollywood films, a 3 hour entertainment program and nothing more.

Funny enough though, I will probably still watch this years awards.

Photo Credit SRK- http://s.chakpak.com/se_images/9041948_-1_564_none/shahrukh-khan-s-award-wallpaper.jpg

Photo Credit Tom Hanks- http://www.hollywoodgoldenguy.com/tom-hanks-oscar.jpg