Instagram Posts I Don't Understand

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Time to mock social media. I had written one about Facebook, this is about Instagram. I'll be the first to admit, I may have done some of these myself. But I do call myself a tool when I do it. So here’s to laughing at myself and the Instagram world.

The following article is not based on anyone living or dead. Any resemblance to any of my friends or people I follow is a coincidence. It is not written to hurt or make fun of anyone in particular. If you still get offended, then you’re probably guilty.

The Posts I Don't Understand

The Workout Video
 
As one meme said “Unless you are falling off the treadmill, we don’t need to see your work out video.” I hope you know that we see you in real life. We know exactly how fit or fat you really are. So when you post a workout video and then eat a burger and fries with 4 whiskies at dinner you’re not fooling me. And by the way, if your trainer is taking your video then he/she is not looking at your form so you’re probably going to get injured. If you are not promoting a gym, we really don’t need to know you ran 4.5 km in less that 30 minutes.

The Elevator Selfie

If only ‘Seinfeld’ was still on the air. I could see an episode where George does this in elevators across New York, trends for a while and then it all falls apart. What exactly are people trying to communicate with these? I am willing to bet that the serial elevator selfie folks often go up and down the elevator till they get the right pic. Sometimes they are probably not even going anywhere, they just ride the elevator, take a pic, post it and head back home. I particularly love how they wear sunglasses in these shots. 

Regramming/Reposting Insta Stories

A lot of people post insta stories wishing their friends and family on their birthdays. That’s fine. But why do the birthday boy or girl then regram/repost and share these on their stories? You’re basically showing off how many people wished you. If you are a celebrity or an influencer, it is still lame, but I get it, you have to show off. If you are neither, seriously consider attending a Tony Robbins self-esteem workshop. 

“I Watched a Sports Event on Television” Story

Let me see if I got this right. While watching a sports event on television people take a video or photo of their television and then share that video on Instagram and then #legend #champion the hell out of it. As a sports fan let me give you a few tips 1) Watch the match, don’t worry about filming it 2) If it is a big match EVERYBODY is watching it, you don’t need to tell us that you are too. Also remember you are NOT at the stadium, you are at home and we all have TV’s.

The Others

There are the boarding pass pictures, photos of single malts and the endless stream of someone eating at shake shack. We know you travel business class, we’ve all tried Yamazaki and Shake Shack is good but it’s a fast food place buddy.

See you in a year when there will be new trends. I should have taken a selfie while writing this in my elevator. May be next time. 

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